30-Something things I find important at 30 (Newsletter No. 34)
Things I found important so far, or revelations I’ve had so far. Some are newer, some are older :)
I’ve also read a few of these age-revelations from others, and it’s still this brain-breaking feeling when the top lessons we’ve learned are really similar, like
Say exactly what I mean and nothing more, my word is my worth.
Take other people’s words at face value. If they compliment me or give me a gift, say thank you and accept it. Don’t worry about whether or not they are “just” being polite. Maybe they are, maybe they’re not.
If I don’t have time for anything else, stretching the neck, feet, and jaw and massaging the tummy are good check-ins.
If I am secure in following my core values (from minor things to major things) I won’t worry about the pressure of “optics” or “saving face”
Being photogenic means nothing.
“If you’re not embarrassed by your past you haven’t grown” and other quotes that spoke to me.
Pooping regularly is very important.
Gotten to that age where I’ve eaten enough food in my life so far that I mostly just want simple home cooked stuff or even stuff from the frozen section, an approximation of what I can get in a restaurant is good enough.
The people I care to keep around me/in touch with are a reflection of me.
Time and attention is precious ie. Be mindful of what I consume with my 5 senses, and also what I share with others. Can be anything from food to shows to articles to venting.
A nice fan is better than AC.
Clothing: gotten to the age where I basically exclusively look at natural fabrics, (tailored) loose clothes, small businesses that use high quality fabrics/offer customization. Start having a fear of “catching cold.” Start doing stuff like mostly avoiding sleeveless tops (also like never shave my armpits anymore so this helps), backless clothes, preferring long shorts, caring about how comfortable shoes are for “health.” I no longer understand uncomfortable stuff that’s purely for aesthetics. Yea basically old people stuff makes sense to me now…
I learned that the key to clothes draping well is having them at the optimal thickness so that it stands/flows away from the body.
Similarly apply the same values logic to food and skincare, I.e. using minimally processed things, caring about where the supply chain starts from.
Salt water is excellent to swim in and to gargle
Sunshine, fresh air, flowing water, and walking solves most things
Hated lettuce, now love that cold watery plant-y taste.
I am in control of my reactionary feelings.
If I’m equipped for the weather, any weather is great weather. Giant hats and parasols for when it’s too sunny, waterproof clothes when it’s too rainy, insulated clothes for when it’s wintry.
Don’t suffer to much in the present for too long in the hopes for a better future, don’t sacrifice the future for an excessively, unnecessarily over-comfortable present.
Be both comfortable alone and being social i.e., interdependence.
Have one skill I can do with my hands/body, a skill that I could rely on if I were to be homeless (singing, painting, woodworking, plumbing, tai-chi, etc. Just examples—I don’t have any of these skills lol)
If one is an atheist, they might think they’re smarter but find themselves existentially dissatisfied. An atheist will still need to search for some sort of core anchor, will still want to be part of something greater. You have to find your version of God.
I will never be able to lie to my subconscious, even if I think I can rationalize and lie to myself.
Anxiety is not the final explanation to behavior. Things may make one anxious, but one must strive to overcome it. Anxiety is more of an reaction, not an identity.
There’s a reason that cleanliness is next to godliness. There are health reasons to chew with one’s mouth closed and standing up straight. Learn the difference between ceremonial ritual and etiquette ritual born out of pragmatism.
“Explain the obvious.” Give information as succinctly and clearly as possible to encourage same-pageness, same wavelength-ness, one-braininess.
Try to ignore all egos when making decisions.
Organic plain yogurt is amazing in and on a lot of things, both sweet and savory.
When talking to a younger generation, be vigilant of the difference between indoctrinating the “right answer” (no matter how well-meaning one is) and educating (to consider all ideas and measure them against each other).
Earless seals and octopuses are amazing creatures for different but related reasons. Seals are constrained by mobility, Octopuses are absolutely not constrained by mobility, but constrained by lifespan. Seals can live up to 30 years, Octopuses live 5 years maximum, sometimes as 6 months. Both are incredibly intelligent. Seals look furry, Octopuses look slimy. Both are uncuddle-able.
Be wary of sleek “minimal” aesthetic branding that seems to be tailored just for me.
Never think that someone is just bent on being evil always truly try to see why people are trying to be the way they are.
Cancelling people is not efficacious.
I like spicy food less, i don’t want novelty and bold flavors, I want even and mellow and to find complexity in the simplicity.
Don’t trying to build a narrative, but rather observe it. “Let reality be reality.”
Rush less and there will be less mistakes, like when scooping chopped vegetables from cutting board to a pot.
Put in effort to create a great set up makes all future tasks easier. Mise En Place for everything.
Get it done, do it with intention, do it well but not so preoccupied with perfection that I become a nonstarter.