3+1 Types of Loneliness
Before the pandemic, holidays threw relationships (or lack thereof) into sharp relief anyways
“Madness is only an amplification of what you already are.”
―Margaret Atwood
Circumstances have been (even more of) a mixed bag the past couple years. Some people are devastated by the pandemically instigated isolation, some are relieved by it. But even the most self-sufficient human needs the routine hug. Actually, they might need it the most.
So anyways, I hope you’re having a wonderful time right now and not reading this newsletter. But if you are reading, that’s cool, thanks! I mean, as long as you’re at peace and relaxing, not just killing time. And if you’re not at peace…are you willing to change your circumstances? I don’t mean the virus-related issues. You and me both know, dangerous as it is, Covid is but one (albeit extremely overarching) aspect of current life. It amplifies The Bad (and Good tbh) that always existed. Don’t treat the pandemic like a rug or a closet.
Are you alone in your apartment and wish you weren’t? Why are you alone (besides deadly contagious diseases), are there opportunities to communicate that you ought to be seeking, are there unlikable aspects of your personality you ought to remedy? Only you know when undesired circumstances are truly unavoidable.
Or are you at a gathering with loads of friends and family but couldn’t feel more alone? Why do you feel alone? Do the others suck, or do you suck. Are you having superficial or passive aggressive conversations? Or are you too sensitive and your combative way of looking at things is making life harder than it is.
What do you actually want? It’s completely in your control and never too late to seek life’s full potential within whatever box the world gives us at any given time.
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According to Dr. Vivek Murthy, there are 3 types of loneliness:
1. Intimate/emotional loneliness: the longing for a close confidante or intimate partner, someone with whom you share a deep mutual bond of affection and trust.
2. Relational/social loneliness: the yearning for quality friendships and social companionship and support.
3. Collective loneliness: the hunger for a network or community of people who share your sense of purpose and interests.
Dr. Lucy Goddard-Kalanithi adds that there is a 4th type of loneliness: a loneliness within yourself, a lack of connection to who you truly are. The solution? More solitude.
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🎶 Piece of the Day 🎶
The Nike of Samothrace Earring. Because they look like angel wings and ornaments (I actually make them with marquise hooks now but haven’t taken new photos).
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year,
Kristy
PS. The original lyrics to Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas